IC Contact for Mask or Menace

[thebatbutler]

You've reached Alfred Pennyworth. I'm unable to come to the phone at the moment, but if you leave a message, I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

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[performance]

[ Of course there's more. And of course Alfred would pick up on it. He's sure that if he tells Alfred that he doesn't want to talk about it, he'd leave it at that. But maybe — maybe telling someone wouldn't be so bad. Maybe he'd actually have some kind of useful advice. And he probably owes Alfred some honesty with all this, besides.

He makes a small, overwhelmed noise, resting his face in his hands, elbows on the table. After a moment, he spreads his fingers enough to peer through the cracks at Alfred. ]

It's nothing. I mean— it's not nothing nothing, but it's... trivial. In the big scheme of things.

[ It's not talking to him that's the problem, it's admitting to this obnoxiously teenage thing he's been coping with. He should be above it, but he doesn't know how to be. He pulls his hands back down, folding them between his knees, his mouth set in a tight line. ]

See, when I told Wally everything, I kinda... told him everything. [ A faint blush creeps up the back of his neck, coloring the tips of his ears pink. His stomach churns uncomfortably. ] That I like him. I don't know why I said it, except that I didn't wanna keep any secrets anymore, I guess. Not from him. And he— I don't think he completely hated the idea? He didn't— freak out or anything. He seemed like he was even maybe a little flattered? I don't know. But he said he needed to think about it, and then time passed, and then he went to Colorado and all of that happened, and now...

... I can't ask. It's been too long and he has too much other stuff to think about. But he gets this look in his eyes sometimes, like he's maybe thinking about it, and I can't tell if it's good thinking or bad thinking.

And I'm rambling now. So I'll stop. But, that's it, basically. The thing I don't know how to deal with.

[thebatbutler]

[There's silence while he waits for Richard to either talk or express his wishes to be left alone on the matter. After he's finished explaining, Alfred makes a considering noise, moving his hand down from Richard's shoulder to rest it against his back. This particular confession does come as something of a surprise, but at the same time it's not. The two have always been close and Richard does seem to have a thing for redheads. There were certainly worse choices than the speedster, as far as romantic interests went.]

Just because something seems trivial in the larger scheme of things, doesn't make it any less important. Your feelings are important, Master Richard. It's also important that there's balance between you and what Robin does. That's something that Master Bruce has always struggled with, and you've managed to have a much better grasp on.

[At least most of the time. None of them were without flaws, certainly, but Richard had learned to balance being a hero with having a life rather admirably. Even if that did make relationships infinitely more complicated. Alfred is certain that Richard has already considered how his options might affect the team and how it works, so he doesn't mention that for now. There is also the fact that despite all their similarities, this isn't the Richard from his world and he's yet to discover any major differences, but it isn't as though they've sat down and discussed that as of yet.]

And what is it that you want young Wallace's answer to be? Are you content for things to remain as they are? Understandably, you would want an answer one way or another, and I admit to not knowing him very well, so my insight is somewhat limited... However, can you trust him to come to you when he's ready or do you think he'll need to be reminded of your conversation?

[performance]

[ Balance between himself and Robin. It's something he still isn't sure how to do. His model, after all, is Bruce, and sometimes Dick wonders whether Bruce or Batman is the one wearing a mask. Neither Dick nor Robin feels like him, sometimes, and outside of Bruce and Alfred, Wally's the only one who knows both halves of him. The only one who makes him feel like a whole person — like he doesn't have to be anyone but himself, whoever that person is.

Maybe that's why Dick feels the way he does.

Hearing that the version of him that Alfred knows is good at it, better than Bruce... something warm, sort of like hope, flickers in his chest. Maybe it's possible for him to be Robin and have a life. Maybe, maybe, maybe. ]

Honestly? I don't know. Wally's really good at ignoring things that shake up his worldview. So if he hasn't said anything by now, maybe he never will. Maybe he's convinced himself that I didn't really mean it. That it was a joke or something.

[ Dick sighs, folding his arms on the table, resting his chin there. Getting it off his chest is helping, in a way, but he still feels a little like he's taking an ice cream scoop to his insides. ]

... I hate that this isn't something I can work at until I get it right. That if he doesn't like me, maybe he'll never like me, and I have to be okay with that. I'm not— great at that. Taking "you're not good enough" for an answer. Not when it's something that matters this much.

[thebatbutler]

[The problem with using Bruce as a role model for how to balance one's life is that he's simply too good at putting his worlds into completely separate categories. Bruce Wayne and Batman were completely separate entities, and it wasn't always clear which one was the mask.

With Richard, however, that line had always been a little more blurred. Robin was Richard and Richard was Robin. The identity was more a part of him than just the mask he wore. Still, it's difficult to have to watch the boy struggle to discover this. And struggle he must, since this was a realization he would need to come to on his own.

As for the situation with Wally, well, Alfred could certainly lend his support and advice on the matter, but his own romantic relationships had never quite panned out all that well in the end.]

Then you'll need to decide if you would like to remind him of your conversation or if you're content enough with things as they are.

[Alfred leans forward slightly, so he might better see Richard's face for this conversation.]

As I'm sure you've realized, matter of the heart are a bit more complex than a simple "You're not good enough." Things are much more difficult when there's another person whose feelings you also have to take into consideration. They might not always react in the way you want and, yes, that is something you would have to come to terms with, if it were to be the case.

But, remember that it will never be because you are not good enough, Richard. Do you understand?