[ Of course there's more. And of course Alfred would pick up on it. He's sure that if he tells Alfred that he doesn't want to talk about it, he'd leave it at that. But maybe — maybe telling someone wouldn't be so bad. Maybe he'd actually have some kind of useful advice. And he probably owes Alfred some honesty with all this, besides.
He makes a small, overwhelmed noise, resting his face in his hands, elbows on the table. After a moment, he spreads his fingers enough to peer through the cracks at Alfred. ]
It's nothing. I mean— it's not nothing nothing, but it's... trivial. In the big scheme of things.
[ It's not talking to him that's the problem, it's admitting to this obnoxiously teenage thing he's been coping with. He should be above it, but he doesn't know how to be. He pulls his hands back down, folding them between his knees, his mouth set in a tight line. ]
See, when I told Wally everything, I kinda... told him everything. [ A faint blush creeps up the back of his neck, coloring the tips of his ears pink. His stomach churns uncomfortably. ] That I like him. I don't know why I said it, except that I didn't wanna keep any secrets anymore, I guess. Not from him. And he— I don't think he completely hated the idea? He didn't— freak out or anything. He seemed like he was even maybe a little flattered? I don't know. But he said he needed to think about it, and then time passed, and then he went to Colorado and all of that happened, and now...
... I can't ask. It's been too long and he has too much other stuff to think about. But he gets this look in his eyes sometimes, like he's maybe thinking about it, and I can't tell if it's good thinking or bad thinking.
And I'm rambling now. So I'll stop. But, that's it, basically. The thing I don't know how to deal with.
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Date: 2014-08-24 01:33 am (UTC)From:He makes a small, overwhelmed noise, resting his face in his hands, elbows on the table. After a moment, he spreads his fingers enough to peer through the cracks at Alfred. ]
It's nothing. I mean— it's not nothing nothing, but it's... trivial. In the big scheme of things.
[ It's not talking to him that's the problem, it's admitting to this obnoxiously teenage thing he's been coping with. He should be above it, but he doesn't know how to be. He pulls his hands back down, folding them between his knees, his mouth set in a tight line. ]
See, when I told Wally everything, I kinda... told him everything. [ A faint blush creeps up the back of his neck, coloring the tips of his ears pink. His stomach churns uncomfortably. ] That I like him. I don't know why I said it, except that I didn't wanna keep any secrets anymore, I guess. Not from him. And he— I don't think he completely hated the idea? He didn't— freak out or anything. He seemed like he was even maybe a little flattered? I don't know. But he said he needed to think about it, and then time passed, and then he went to Colorado and all of that happened, and now...
... I can't ask. It's been too long and he has too much other stuff to think about. But he gets this look in his eyes sometimes, like he's maybe thinking about it, and I can't tell if it's good thinking or bad thinking.
And I'm rambling now. So I'll stop. But, that's it, basically. The thing I don't know how to deal with.